Living in a Community

Students’ relationships with their roommate(s) can be one of the best parts of their college experience. Here are a few things to think keep in mind regarding roommates: 

You Don’t Have to be Best Buddies with Your Roommate: 
Be realistic. Roommates don’t always end up as best pals. Friendship isn’t the main factor in developing a good roommate relationship. Respect and a willingness to communicate clearly are the keys. It is also possible to be friends but not “best friends.” Even if your roommate is not your closest friend, you can still treat each other amiably, with respect, and look out for each other’s needs. Be realistic about your expectations and connect through compromise. 

Agree to Disagree: 
There will be times when your values and thoughts are at odds with those of your roommate(s). When students agree to disagree, they recognize and accept that 
they don’t agree with each other on everything. It is okay to agree to disagree and you will likely have to do this with your roommate, at least on occasion. 

Respect Differences and Respect Safety: 
Roommates should make an effort to understand one another. Work to discover what you have in common with your roommate(s), what differences you may have, what your backgrounds are, and how your backgrounds affect the similarities and differences you have with each other. Each student should feel safe on their campus and living environment. This means that roommates sharing a 
room/suite/unit should seek to make it a safe place for each other. Discuss locking the room, sharing passwords, hosting guests, and study times, and talk about concerns with alcohol, drugs, smoking, and other issues. 
University Housing/Residence Life staff are trained to help roommates work through issues. You should contact your resident assistant (RA) with any concerns. 

Conflict with others is a natural part of life and, sooner or later, we all experience it. Managing conflicts in a healthy, mature manner is part of the college experience. We encourage students to manage conflict by addressing your different viewpoints with the goal in mind of improving your relationship(s). If you are experiencing a conflict with your roommate(s), your options include: 

•    Discussing the situation with the person(s) directly, and/or;
•    Contacting your RA for assistance in phrasing topics you want to address with your roommate(s), and/or;

•    RAs or the Residence Life Manager can either
advise students on how to approach roommate(s)
or can actually meet with the students involved to facilitate a discussion, help keep the discussion focused, and encourage civility.
•    Communicating with the Residence Life Manager about your interest in relocating to another room. RAs are prepared and willing to assist students with facilitating these conversations but are unable to make living decisions for them.

Only the students who are living together are capable of resolving their differences. If you do not want to continue living with your roommate(s), it is your choice to stay or move if your roommates are unwilling to move (even if you think they are at fault). It is inappropriate for RAs to intervene other than to facilitate dialogue between students. University Housing/Residence Life staff will not decide who has to move out and who will stay in a room/suite/unit.  

Except in extreme circumstances as judged by the Residence Life Manager, students are required to live at least two weeks with their given roommate before a room change is granted. This gives the roommates time to get to know one another better and to potentially make things work following the often hectic time of transition during and following move-in. If you are running into significant problems with your roommate during the first two weeks of school, please speak with the Residence Life Manager, who will decide if it is a situation that warrants a room change during that initial two-week period.